Under other circumstances, it could have been amusing in a Charlie Chaplin, Harold Lloyd, Keystone Cops kind of way. But they say that comedy is all about timing and nothing, absolutely nothing, is funny at 3:30 in the morning.
And under other circumstances, I would have felt more compassion for the neighbors. But these are the neighbors that set and reset their car alarm every night, complete with beeping horn, after most of the neighborhood has gone to sleep. So their misfortune in the wee hours left me unmoved.
All of this is due to a visitation, before the crack of dawn, by the world's worst repo man.
We were awakened by the car alarm blaring repeatedly across the street. After it went on for a bit, with no sign of stopping, visual inspection took place. Outside the bedroom window was an unmarked white tow truck attempting to abscond with an SUV parked in the driveway. The SUV in question was at a peculiar angle with headlights flashing and horn beeping while the driver of the tow truck tried in vain to shut the thing up. It looked as though it was possible that the SUV had been dragged on a collision course with another car parked on the street.
At some point, Repo Dude moved the tow truck several yards down the street and returned to the SUV, flashlight in hand. He attempted to enter the vehicle several times before succeeding. He walked around the back. He walked around the passenger side. He leaned on the driver side window. He jiggled the passenger door. He went back to the driver's side. Back to the passenger door. He eventually got in and popped the hood. He hunted under the hood with the flashlight for Lord knows what. He got the alarm to stop. He closed the hood. He fiddled some more. The alarm went off. Lather, rinse and repeat.
One of our other neighbors, an otherwise mild mannered lady I'm sure, yelled out her window that it was 3:30 in the blinkety blank blank morning. Helpful, but I doubt there was anyone within earshot that wasn't all too painfully already aware of that fact.
At long (too long) last, he had quieted the alarm again and returned to the tow truck, backing it up to the SUV. He jacked up the SUV and spent several minutes walking around and around the vehicle seemingly trying to figure out how to secure his prize. Once secured, our hero took his trusty flashlight and returned to the cab of his truck. He pulled away with the SUV and as he went around the corner, the alarm was again heard, retreating into the distance.
Sleep having been totally banished, I reflected on the cause of my current undesired state of consciousness. For some reason, whether through hardship or carelessness, our neighbors clearly have neglected to make car payments. And for some reason, some finance company decided that they really wanted their vehicle back in lieu of payment. The truck driver decided he wished to make his mark on the world as a repo man. Said finance company contacted said driver and it was decided that 3:30 in the flipping morning was the optimal time to take their property back. And because of that, several dozen upstanding citizens will be spending the rest of their day yawning and staggering about in a sleep deprived haze.
I'm not disputing the company's right to expect payment for the purchase. I'm not disputing their right to repossess it if payment is not forthcoming. I'm not even disputing Repo Dude's right to gainful employment. What I am disputing is the need for all of those things to occur at 3:30 AM outside my bedroom window.
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